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This is another book intended to help with bringing up your kids. First off I think the premise of the book is slightly misleading. Based on the front cover I thought it would have ideas on different mindful activities that kids could do to help them be calm. My daughter was going through a difficult time when I bought the book. However, it is more a list of meditations with albeit comprehensive instructions. I do think though that teaching meditation to young kids (under 10) is extremely difficult! Mindfulness yes, but that actually comes naturally to them! Kids simply don't think as much as adults do. They just 'be'. They go with the flow. Nevertheless I thought this book could help. And it did a little. I do occasionally do a guided meditation with my daughter and it helps, but there is no way she could do one once a day, or even once a week.
Anyway it is not a bad book, and there is quite a bit of useful information there (ironically it probably ends up helping adults more than kids). As I did with my last educational book, I will simply take helpful excerpts from the book and go from there.
"If our muscles are tense and never get to relax, then the circulation around the muscles can't move toxins and nourish the cells with oxygen as effectively - and we might experience a build up of tension and eventually chronic pain." I am not sure that this is 'good science' but the message makes sense.
"Lots of people live life with minds full of worrying thoughts or a constant feeling of anxiety. In these circumstances, we can gradually slip into a long-term stress state." - Me!
Sometimes adults don't realise that children experience stress too. For example, if their parents are arguing and they don't have someone to play with at home. If one or both parents are stressed, then the child will not fully relax, among other issues.
Compared to adults, children don't know how to recognise stress or how to cope with and process it. This is certainly true. They tend to bottle it up and try not to acknowledge it. This will produce tummy upsets. If your child regularly says 'My tummy hurts' or 'I have a bad feeling', then you can be almost certain that something is making them VERY worried and you need to try and figure out what it is and make their lives easier.
Guided Meditations with Kids
Meditation helps you to stay in the moment. Being present with the breath and the senses will especially benefit children with these kinds of issues:
(1) Fidgety, has excess energy to burn off. Can't relax. Talks too much. Impatient.
(2) Lack of focus. Poor attention to detail. In a world of their own. Difficulty in finishing tasks/projects. Dislikes long tasks. Ignores instructions. Easily distracted.
(3) Aggression. Arrogance.
(4) OCD and other obsessions. Addiction. Secretive.
(5) Timidity. Lack of confidence.
It goes without saying that phones should be switched off during meditation (unless of course you are listening to a guided meditation from an app).
Use low lighting (or candles).
Relaxing instrumental music can be played in the background. Be careful with what music you choose as children have their own ideas about music and what is 'cool' or not.
Have a space that is free from clutter. Use the child's bedroom if it is tidy.
"If you ask them to place their hands on their body, either where it does or doesn't feel comfortable, you can tell which chakra is drawing most attention at that time. This is useful if children find it difficult to 'imagine' "
NOTE: There is quite a bit in this book about 'Chakras' and 'Reiki'. Two points here. Firstly the author write as if they are two different things, whereas I have recently learnt that 'Reiki' is about 'Chakras'. Secondly, there is no scientific evidence that 'Chakras' actually exist. I have meditated on 'Chakras' and sometimes I feel afterwards that it was not helpful and sometimes I have thought it was. This is of course not evidence or proof. It may all be in the mind! Lol. My gut feeling (another lol) is that they do not exist as such but that there may be a grain of truth in the idea that the body has certain higher centres of energy.
Let your child know that you're there and that you will be watching over her.
Useful phrases to start meditations are : "Feel your breath - in through the nose and out through the mouth" , "Notice your thoughts and blow them away" , "Imagine that you are dropping stones into a pond and each one represents a worry" , and "Feel the ground under your feet". "Listen with awareness. Notice all the sounds."
During the meditation try to allow some short periods of silence. If the child or children giggle or yawn or wriggle around, just let them experience this and let them move on when ready.
To end the meditation ask children to wiggle their fingers and toes, and stretch their legs and arms. Ask them if they now feel calm inside.
THE BOOK CONTAINS NICE MEDITATIONS ON PAGES 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 58, 59, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 83, 84, 99, 100, 101, 106 and 107.
Using the senses :
As a general rule leading your child meditation is a blend of describing the setting/object and asking questions. "You are in a garden." , "There is a unicorn". "You follow the path as it leads up the mountain".
Sight:
The size of the object (small or large).
The shape (round, square, shape of petals on a flower)
The colour (What colour is the sea?)
Any patterns/shapes
Touch: (Some children can be more comfortable with 'feeling')
The weight of the object (light or heavy)
The texture (rough or smooth)
The temperature (warm or cold)
Sound:
Is the sound loud or quiet?
Where can you feel the sound in your body?
Notice a sound and name it.
Where is the sound coming from?
Smell:
Is the smell sweet, fresh, smoky?
Taste:
Is it sweet or sour?
Mudras:
The Hakini Mudra (hand gesture) is used by many people in business, intentionally or not, as it overcomes fear and timidity (see page 117).
The Ahamkara mudra (traditionally used in meditation with legs crossed while sitting) can be useful in this way for grounding energy:
Try a cycle of ten breaths, breathing in with fingers closed, and breathing out with fingers open. Then follow that with another cycle of ten breaths, this time breathing in with fingers open and breathing out with fingers closed.
Other information:
Have you ever felt the need to get out into the fresh air to go for a walk or run? To listen to music with a deep, steady drumbeat? To sing or to chant? All of these activities are grounding. This is why 'ungrounded' people tend to move around a lot and can't stay still.
Sound/chanting/toning :
Try saying 'haaaaammmmmmm' every time you breathe out.
Try saying 'Iiiii ammmmmm' every time you breathe out.
Go through the vowels of the alphabet . You start with A as in 'aaaaaa' then whilst making the sound you switch to 'E' as in 'eeeeeee'.
Try all these sounds with your hands on and off different parts of your body.
"Adults feel compelled to organise children - and I agree that children need boundaries - but unless they are physically causing harm to themselves or others, just let them be!"
"For every human being, it's imperative to spend time in the fresh air - in the garden, a hike, or by the sea."
Wear Red Socks! This helps with grounding supposedly!
"The phrase 'Just for today' is to encourage you to be in the moment. Simply focusing on your breath first, then breathing into your chest 'Just for today' and breathing out 'I will not worry' will help in a number of ways."
The Reiki Principles :
Just for Today,
I will not worry,
Just for Today,
I will not be angry,
Just for Today,
I will love and respect all,
Just for Today,
I will feel gratitude for all.
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