Book Review : Women's Anatomy of Arousal by Sheri Winston

Sexually I have always enjoyed pleasuring women and want to make them come away feeling great from our sexual experience. The first half of this book is really good, lots of interesting pictures of people having sex, the history of sexuality and tips with plenty of very good detailed diagrams. The second half descends into spirituality which endlessly repeats itself, and it's like the author wanted to fill up some empty pages. So many books that I read these days seem to do a similar thing, either diving into spirituality, woo woo hocus pocus or worst of all, religion. Many a good book has been tainted this way!

Anyway, on with the good stuff. I will write this book from a man's point of view of pleasuring a woman, but most of the suggestions can be practiced (and are supposed to be practiced) by the woman on her own.

Investigate the female anatomy when your female partner is not aroused, and then feel and see the structures again at different levels of arousal.

Over half of women don't have orgasms during intercourse.

If you are in a monogamous relationship you are NOT cheating (even in spirit) if you desire or fantasize about other partners.

Tease, tantalize, hover and graze her hot spots before you zero in for concentrated attention.

Start with shoulders, calves, arms, then lips, mouth, ears and neck. Then go down to thighs, butt, hips and lower back before finally heading towards her outer lips :

Make a ritual of discovering your female friend's genitals.

Tell her affirmations such as "I love all of you", "Your pussy is gorgeous" and "I love your scent." Women need oodles of pussy praise to get over our cultural messages of shame.

Her inner lips contain blood vessels that swell during arousal, so whatever colour they begin with will darken as they infuse with blood.

Everything inside her outer lips is made of delicate mucus membrane, moist sensitive tissue that is designed always to be wet. Always touch this tissue wetly! It should feel slick and slidy. Add saliva if needed.You want her to bloom open like a flower.

I encourage you to stay out of her innermost zones until she actively urges you to go there. If you're a master lover, you'll wait until she's inviting (or better yet, begging) you.

Even then, don't just plunge all the way in. Explore her doorway with the tip of your cock.

A note about genital hygiene :

Mild soap on the outside of the pussy is fine, but please, no soap or feminine hygiene products on the mucus membranes or inside the vagina, ever.

Assiduously avoid anti-bacterial soaps, deodorant soaps, douches, sprays, wipes, powders as well as body wash, bubble baths. Make your crotch a chemical free zone!

A bad odor is a sign of imbalance or infection and require healing, not deodorizing.

There is no need to clean inside the vagina! Ever! You have a self-cleaning vagina.

Taking antibiotics can cause your normal flora to die off. Exposure to chemicals and cleaning products can also shift the balance and cause a die-off of supportive bacteria.

The Clit:

The entire clit, like the rest of your arousal network, is made up of that delicious magical substance, erectile tissue.

For many women the head of the clitoris is so sensitive that it can't be touched directly - or if so, only with great care.

Try playing with the clit head and shaft from the sides by grasping the OUTER lips and gently squeezing to create a frictionless rubbing.

Try rolling and running happy little circles along the length of the shaft.

Rolling the shaft is many women's favourite self-pleasure technique. NOW YOU KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING! The shaft is less likely than the head to get irritated and over-stimulated. Men : Try back and forth movements on the shaft or circular rubbing, stimulating the clit through the hood. To feel the shaft place your fingers on the skin of the hood and press down.

Check out the outer and inner lips when you are not turned on. Place your fingers firmly on the skin on either side of your vaginal opening and press down, feeling through the skin and fatty tissue to the muscles and Vestibular Bulbs beneath them.

Intermittently play with your clitoris. Put one finger just inside your vagina and press toward the side to feel the rounded inner surface of the bulb. Add another finger on the outer side of the outer lip and squeeze to feel the plump rounded shape of the lower half of each bulb.

Guys you can play with those juicy vestibular bulbs through the outer surface of the lips.

The Urethral Sponge:

It's a tube of erectile tissue that surrounds the urethral canal. It's a cylinder of spongy tissue, and you can feel it's underside through the front part of the top wall of the vagina.

It is also connected to your nerve pathways.

Stroke the sponge guys :

Play with a windshield wiper motion, rubbing firmly back and forth. Rhythmically press and release. With two fingers inside and your thumb outside, grip the whole area and vibrate your hand, starting small and getting more intense. Run your fingers along the 'gutters' on either side of the tube. Reach back to the tail or end of the tube and pull it towards you. Use strong pressure and be consistent with your motions.

Last but not least, the urethral sponge houses the paraurethral glands, the source of female ejaculate (more later)

The Perineal Sponge:

The sponge and erectile tissue is located about one inch inside the vaginal opening and about half an inch deep, towards the rectal wall.

When she is highly aroused the cervix gets pulled out of the way and leaves a space at the back of the vagina thats forms a nice cozy sperm-bowl where sperm can live for days.

You can really pound your woman when she is so turned on. Let her guide you.

PC Muscles:

Whether you're a man or a woman you can use the PC muscles to initiate your turn on or add fuel to your sexual fire. Working them stimulates the nerves and increases blood flow to your pelvis which increases your engorgement and erection (or herection).

Paraurethral Glands:

As mentioned before they are the source of female ejaculate, a clear watery fluid with a faint musky odour that can issue as a trickle, a small gush, or in great geysers of liquid. While "shejaculate" is most often expelled when a woman has an orgasm, it can also emerge during high-level arousal for some women.

The most common time to squirt is after prolonged stimulation of the urethral sponge, often in the company of multiple orgasms.

If you are a woman who hasn't ejaculated yet, YOU CAN LEARN HOW.

Anal Play:

The ass is very 'yin'. It needs to be wooed open, and this requires time and gentleness. You can't hurry ass-play.

Remember these 3 words : SLOW, CONSCIOUS and WELL-LUBED.

Once she's ready to explore ass play, get her in a state of high arousal. Along with plenty of stimulation to her clit, add gentle well-lubed attention to the outside of her anal opening. If she likes that and gives the go-ahead, gently slide your slippery finger in a bit, or alternatively use a butt toy.

Once she feels comfortable with something small, you may find her eager to try your cock. This may no happen during your first session or, for that matter, your tenth. Don't rush or pressure her. It's important to be patient. It's an activity she may come to love over time.

Breast-Feeding:

Breast-feeding promotes health and well-bring by reducing the incidence of every known disease throughout the life span. It protects against everything from colic to Alzheimer's, from allergies to auto-immune disease, and from obesity to addiction while also increasing intelligence and psychological health. Nothing produced in a factory comes close to this mammary miracle food.

DMT (Dimethyltryptamine) - The "God Chemical".

It is called the God Chemical because of its association with transcendent experiences when used as a recreational drug, is released by the pineal gland in small bursts during regular orgasm, in sustained flow with expanded orgasm, and in labor, peaking in birth.

Great sex can only happy when you're fully present for life's great gift. Bring up all the luscious sensations into your brain and be exquisitely aware of every little nuance and moment of the pleasure - feeling the flirty hand on the thigh...the hot breath against your neck...and the feel of discovering sweet new flesh under your fingers...that wonderful musky smell... As part of your erotic learning journey, you want as much sensation as possible. To achieve all this you need to learn to be self-aware.

"Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious. I have tried prudent planning long enough. From now on, I'll be mad." RUMI

Take a few moments to imagine your perfect lover. Make a list of this person's qualities and attributes. What does this tell you about what you value most? What do you most desire in a partner?

Smart Slut Tricks:

Partners naturally go off each other as the flow diminishes and they start seeing each other's faults and foibles. The realities of ordinary life - problem children and dirty dishes, declining parents and job stress, illness and errands - intrude. The chemical soup that send us into that rushing river dissipates in the everyday swamp of the mundane world. Boredom takes over.

DO THE CHAKRA CHARGING MEDITATION PRACTICE NOW on page 222.

The Road to Orgasmic Abundance:

Stimulate your nipples and clitoris (with vibrator) together. Stop the clitoral stimulation when you're almost coming, and - you guessed it - pulse, breathe , imagine and send your sound and energy down into your crotch and...what happens? Your body-mind is already hurtling down the orgasmic highway, and it just keeps going. Now that it believes that nipple stimulation is as effective an orgasmic strategy as clit-play, what's a brian to do but go "OMG YES!!" If you can't come, put your vibrator back on the clitoris to lay the pathway again.

Deep Throat:

Did you know that it is much easier to take something large down your throat when your pussy is puffy and open?

FEMALE EJACULATION:

I didn't realise it was a skill that could be acquired until I met women who had learned how to do it. I now know that all women can learn to ejaculate. It's not pee!

Ejaculate can come in small trickles or sizable gushes, or it can spout like a geyser.

When women ejaculate, it often but not always accompanies their orgasm. Whether it happens with or without a climax, it feels FABULOUS. Shejaculators usually find it to be an emotionally profound as well as physically feel-good experience.

Where does the liquid come from?

The watery part of our blood, called serum, can easily diffuse across the capillary membrane in the erectile tissue of the urethral sponge, and enter the tubules of the gland. There, it mixes with the glands' secretions and becomes amrita.

You need lots of firm rhythmical stimulation of the urethral sponge until you feel it swell. It should feel almost squishy. When you orgasm, continue to stimulate yourself, push and groan, release, let go, repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

FOR MEN:

Five Things That Turn Her On:

(1) Discover all her favourite erogenous zones. Ears, toes, shoulders. Neck, belly, knees. Her pinky. The inside of her wrist. Play with all of it!

(2) Use words, ideas and fantasy. Her mind is her biggest erogenous zone : turn it on.

(3) She wants romance and seduction. Give it to her.

(4) Find out what her personal, private turn-ons are. Be willing to listen and have her show you. Real men ask for directions!

(5) Keep your love making inspired and spontaneous. Novelty and excitement turn her on.

Tell her that you love her body - shape, size, feel, smell, taste, capacities, everything! Tell her you get off on how she looks, smells and tastes.

Especially tell her you love her yoni - its look, taste and smell.

Pussy worship is an aphrodisiac.

RELIABILITY AND DIRECTION:

Women are 'lunar', shifting and variable. Be her rock solid center to dance around.

Be Clean : No stinky smells, rough stubble, ragged, sharp fingernails, toenails...

Don't be boring and predictable. Don't 'fuck by numbers', even if it worked great the last time. There is no one right way. Do you want her dozing off ?

Visualize her body as having a series of concentric zones starting with her outer energy fields and proceeding from there to her non-erogenous zones and her genitals. Start at the outer zones and work your way toward the pussy.

SIMPLE : Wait until you're invited to enter, or even better, begged!!

(Don't assume that just because she's wet, she's read to be entered)

Ask her to show you how she makes herself come. Practice again and again until you can do it just the way she likes it.

Absolutely, positively don't put anything inside her until she's at high arousal. If you want to play it really safe, wait until she's had her first orgasm.

Learn the fine art of friction-free fucking, when you rock your hips rather than pump your loins. This is especially important if you're circumcised - no sleeve means more friction.

Use angled strokes, subtle twisting motions, your pelvic floor muscles, and small movements of your sacrum. Try for gliding, pulsing, rocking motions, especially with your cock deep inside. As always, be super-attuned to what's working for her.

Use clitoral stimulation with your fingers (or let her use hers) while fucking. It will increase her arousal and pleasure.

Once you have come, don't turn over and fall asleep. Say three nice things. "Girl, that was hot!" , "I love how your pussy tastes/feels!" Or even "I love you" (but only if it's true). She needs an after sex connection before your fall into a coma, so ask her what she loved and what worked to get her hot and make her come.

Tell her things that you loved and that you thought were really sexy. Let her know what turned you on! She'll remember and give it to you again - and it's another opportunity to let her know how sizzling she was.

Finally. Thank her. Everyone appreciates gratitude.